Joyride with a dutiful daughter

It's been a trying week. Got a message from my brother's wife telling me that my Dad was in the hospital, and that my mother, who suffers from (amongst other things) vascular dementia, had driven herself somewhere. I called Mama to discover that my sweet darling mother was scared and not doing well at all without her constant companion of the last nearly 56 years. I cannot in all good conscience leave her alone at a time like this. I call my clients and business associates, reschedule everything, worried and anxious to get to my parents so far away (it's a 4+ hour drive).

I packed a bag, some supplies and the Moose into Lucille and off we went willy nilly to the High Sierra where they live. Dad was hospitalized in Grass Valley with an infection which required IV antibiotics but was not life threatening. He's also preparing to be treated for prostate cancer and has diabetes. Meticulous about both his own self care and that of my Mom, he was mostly bored and so was not as great a concern as my fragile mother who was home alone. He'd be out in a few days.

I stop on my way to their house to see him in the hospital. He seemed fine, though obviously worried about Mom and relieved that I had come up to care for her. After reassuring myself that he was well enough for me to relax a bit, I hurried on to see my mother.

I arrived with all my usual good humor, wanting to put her at ease. I comforted and reassured my Mom, and settled in for the duration. Mama is calmer with me there at the house with her, and I've had a couple of important conversations with my Dad while he's been hospitalized , so this is all going well. As the smart daughter they're so proud of and the first born, it falls to me to be the one initiates the hard talks about difficult subjects. Good thing I do what I do for a living. We make plans for moving them closer to medical services, doing more estate planning, all things that are long overdue in my opinion. This is good.

Daddy calls multiple times a day to talk to Mama, and that makes her feel better. With her dementia, she asks after him over and over throughout the day, and worries over the silliest things, but I comfort her and love her and answer her every time, because I know she needs the reassurance.

I call my brothers daily and let them know what's going on. I have a good family. My brothers are both good men of strong character with very nice families of their own. My folks did good with us. It hurts us all to see them decline into old age after so many vibrant, vital years. Quite sobering.

Wednesday morning is going okay, but Mama seemed off. Her neighbor and friend Clancey was visiting and was worried about how Mama looked and was acting. Mama suddenly got flushed and sweaty and -very- shakey. I took her pulse, which was highly irregular. Uh oh. Off to the clinic in the nearest small town 5 miles away. They take eleventy hundred EKG's and then recommend she be taken by ambulance to the same hospital my Dad is in.

We compare notes about Mom. After examining the evidence at home, we come to the same conclusion. It seems Mama, with her dementia, was claiming to have taken her very important morning meds but was not. She'd forget. I had no idea about that since Daddy was calling each morning to talk to her and tell her to take her meds. No one had any idea that this glitch was happening. After 5 days untreated, her body was starting to react badly. Off she went. Poor scared lamb. I do my best to reassure her, but cannot go with her in the ambulance. I follow the ambulance containing my mother closely for the one hour ride to the hospital. On the way I call Dad to let him know what's going on.

Oy.

Dad is discharged 15 minutes before Mom arrives by ambulance, so he is there to greet her. Tears and embraces ensue between them as the EMT's unload her stretcher. To me (as their twice divorced daughter), they have been married all their lives (she was 17, he was 21). They are still very much in love, which fills me with awe and admiration along with all the love I feel for them. She is so frightened, and so is he, and they cling to one another. My heart fills and breaks and fills again. I love them both so very much.

Mama's heart arrithymia requires tests that promises to keep her 4 days in the hospital. On the 3rd day, I take a drive alone down out of the mountains in my miata to visit, bring her some personal things, all that. The doctor arrives after an important test and declares that she passed, and can be released immediately.

Mama pleads, "Don't tell Daddy, let's surprise him!". Noooo Mama, you've got a very bad back and bad knees and bad hips, we can't get you into the low and small miata without hurting you.

"Please" Mama asks.

Mama has never ridden in my miata before, though I've had it 6 years. With her considerable physical limitations it never seemed feasible. But okay, let's give it a try. I figure I can always call Dad and have him drive down their van and get her if she can't get in easily enough that we can get her out again without causing her too much undue pain.

The nurse wheels her out to the side entrance while I put the top down and fetch an extra pair of sunglasses (the ones with the rhinestone frames) and my wide brimmed driving hat out of the trunk. Carefully we get her into the passenger seat. I spray her and me with sunblock, she jams the hat over her short white hair, slips on the gaudy sunglasses, declares herself to be a movie star and off we go back up into the mountains. It's a beautiful afternoon.

I have a friend who leads a swing band, and his album is in my car's cd changer, so on it goes and Mama's hands and toes start tapping. Before she was so crippled she was a great swing dancer. When a song comes on that we both know, we both sing it together, loudly and with big smiles.

Every so often, Mama or I exclaim, "Daddy is just gonna CRAP when he sees you/me!" and then we both laugh uproariously. We'd raise our hands straight up over our heads ands wave them just because we could. Joyride in a convertible, helping my Mama surprise her Love. Richness.

I remember thinking how precious this hour was, and how I would remember it always.

After a beautiful ride into the splendor that is the High Sierra, we arrive home. I honk and honk 'til Daddy comes out. I shout from behind the wheel, "Look what I brought you!".

He looks and looks again to see who it is in that hat and glasses beside me, bursts into tears and hurries to her side of the car. They embrace and murmur sweet "I love you's" and cry on one another's shoulders before the car is even turned off. So much in love. Such good friends. Finally he opens her door and gently, gently, helps her out of the car and slowly up the stairs to their front door. Together again.

I do not need to tell you what I learned, what I gained, what I felt, how it was. I just want to tell you all how blessed I am to come from such fine folks, how honored I am to witness so epic and ordinary a lifetime of love, and that I wouldn't trade this last week for all the money in the world.

A dutiful daughter? Yes, and a grateful one.

Risk living an authentic life

It is amazing and heartening to me what comes of staying true to my own Life Purpose.

In the last week an angel donor/investor appeared offering words of praise and wads of money. The new workbook/journal went into beta testing. I freed myself of an unhealthy business relationship. Clients have been starting to knock down the door. I've been kicking ass at the gym.

It is obvious to me that I am finally allowing the Law of Attraction to be my ally.

In the new workbook, I talk a bit about how important allies are. I've mentioned them in previous posts of this blog. Real allies ennoble, empower, champion, encourage your greatness. They are your strategic achievement team.

So, who are your allies? Who's in your corner? Who's got your back? Which people in your life have your best interests at heart? Who can you count on?

Do you think that there's no one you can rely on except for yourself? Some folks do, you know. They insist that there is no one that they can count on, and they're usually right. They're right because the Law of Attraction says that which you focus on expands, that thoughts become things. They're right not because those folks don't exist, but because they cannot see them. If they could see the help all around them, they would have to change their world view. If they changed their world view, their lives would change.

Thinking that you can count on no one makes for a very hard life. Cooperation takes a back seat to scepticism. Wariness wins against goodwill. You suffer.

Now I'm not advising that you throw your good sense away, or that you put yourself in harm's way. I -am- saying that it's often the case that we outright refuse offers of help and assistance that are born of goodwill. I'm saying that it is mete, right and appropriate for us to enlist the aid of other purposeful folks, as we all have something to contribute to one another.

Here's a for instance: I hate to crunch numbers. Data entry makes me itchy. I'd pretty much rather sand my face off than balance my checkbook. Now, I know how to do all those things, I just hate 'em. This could be a Very Bad Thing, except that I know a very fine man who absolutely loooooooves to do all that stuff. It's in sweet alignment with his Life Purpose, and not in synch with mine. So, all I do is give him a very paltry sum and he does it for me. Everybody wins.

There's a much smarter, easier, better way to live a purposeful life than doing everything yourself: get some allies. Friends. Family. Mentors. Teachers. Coaches. Service providers. Vision holders. Butt kickers. Fans. Partners. They're all around you, waiting to be of service.

Let them.

Here's an excerpt from the new Life Purpose Discovery Journal/workbook about allies.

-----------------------------------------

GET SOME ALLIES:

Every successful person in the world has used help to get where they were going. The smartest sought out assistance early and often and continue to ask when in need. Only the most clueless and stubborn people refuse to get help. Let’s face it, we didn’t incarnate on a planet of over 6 billion people to do everything by ourselves.
Dump the bad old ways

This is the perfect opportunity to rid yourself of any old notions you might have about asking for help. After all, misplaced pride or a sense of shame has no place on the path of a purposeful life. Any opinions, emotions or feelings that prevent you from accessing all the resources available to you are hindrances to the authentic expression of your Life Purpose. Turn away from the folly of thinking you need to do everything on your own. Remind yourself over and over as many times as it takes that it’s smart to ask for help. It does not profit you, nor does it profit the world to think otherwise.

Here’s a basic fact about Life Purpose: All Life Purposes are complimentary to one another.

What this rightly implies is that they are meant to be used and expressed in concert with others. We are meant to Even in the most solitary of lives or activities, it is important to remember that living in accordance with our Purpose helps to promote and sustain that energy in others as it nourishes ourselves.

Help comes in many forms. One of the most readily available forms of help comes from other people. We call those people allies.

It’s a great idea to enlist the aid of as many allies as you can get to assist you in living a purposeful life. Actually, it’s more than a great idea, it’s a necessity for most if not all Life Plans to enlist the help of allies in order to live richly.

Create a Purpose Group

Make a list of the people you trust that have your best interests at heart. Be sure to include any positive connections you have in the workplace, at church, school, or at the gym. Don’t forget your therapist, life coach, counselor, hairdresser or anyone else who you confide in. Include the friends and family members who’ve always had your back.

After you’ve made your list, pick the people you’d like to tell about your desire to live a more purposeful life. Seek them out and explain the work you’ve done so far, and tell them about your plans. Ask for their support.

Some folks have created a dynamic network of purposed people around them, and they encourage one another to live on purpose.

One of the best ways to connect with other Purpose driven folks is to create them. Give copies of this workbook to others as a gift. Explain your idea for a “Life Purpose Group” project.

Regular meetings of your Purpose group can support the completion of each section of this workbook, and you also have the opportunity to share insights, tools and results with one another. This kind of Purpose group has proven to be a very powerful tool for empowerment through the creation of camaraderie, ongoing support and accountability practices.

What is Life Purpose, anyway?

The following is an excerpt from the soon to be released Life Purpose Discovery Journal, a comprehensive workbook designed to help you answer the questions, "Why am I here?" and "What am I supposed to be doing?".

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

What your Life Purpose isn’t:

Your life purpose is not a job description. It’s not a career path or an astrological sign. It’s not any kind of thing that lumps you into a limited number of categories with millions of other people like Myers-Briggs, numerology or enneagram assessments.

It should not be confused with the enlightened sense of awareness which asserts that we are all formless Eternal Beings of Light. That is a completely different discussion.

It is not a religious or political position, an opinion from anyone else, or something someone once told you that you should be or do. It’s not the expectations of your parents or teachers or employers or anyone else. It’s not the amassing of wealth or power for it’s own sake. It’s not self sacrifice.

What your Life Purpose IS:

Your Life Purpose is the overarching fundamental context of your life. It is the touchstone for true fulfillment. It is the basic noble theme that underlies every meaningful, positive action that you can possibly take in any direction in order to authentically express yourself. It is the universal powerhouse of energy that inspires service, transformation, and genius. It is unique to you and you alone. When embraced, it’s an inner knowing that tells you where best to direct your energies and talents.

In the calm center of your soul, Life Purpose abides as a wellspring of unlimited natural internal motivation and enthusiasm. It transforms your experiences through a simple shift of perspective. Your purposeful thoughts and actions are the most effective vehicles you can use to enrich not only yourself, but the world at large. It’s joyful, compelling, satisfying. It feeds both yourself and the world at the same time. It informs your future, and makes sense of your past.

Purposeful living is our own Divine Love, Power and Grace made manifest.

Getting big stuff done.

I am tickled many colors (pink is just not enough) to announce that the new Life Purpose Discovery Journal is being released into beta testing tomorrow.

This is a BIG DEAL for me. It represents the first significant publication goal I've met in the quest to bring this powerfully cool work into the world on a much larger scale.

Miracles have been happening every day this week. One of the biggest was that I got a spontaneous substantial offer to invest in my business this week, right out of the blue. For me, that's another clear sign that I'm doing the right thing. I've been getting them like gangbusters lately. Thank you, Universe. I want to tell the world how grateful I am for all this abundance. Thank you, thank you.

Calloo Callay.
-------------------------------------------------
Here's a poem:

The crows career into treetops
I can smell the fog
It licks the mountain ridge
Falls softly back again.

The Moose barks at other dogs
As they pass our gate
Then goes down the stairs
To catnap in the shade.

The clocks tick relentlessly
Slower than my heart
I wish that I were wistful
But I've got work to do.

An excerpt from the new workbook

We all feel adrift sometimes. We’ve all been situations where we’ve felt lost. And at one point or another we’ve all questioned what we’re doing with our lives and wondered what our purpose is on this earth. I’m here to tell you that you DO have a purpose and it’s easy to find.

I came to do this work as a natural progression of my Life Coaching practice. What I noticed is that folks who were clear or got clear about their Life Purpose during our work together made faster progress, easier decisions, and experienced what I observed to be a greater sense of satisfaction with their lives in general. They seemed more willing to make significant changes with less grief. And the changes they made seemed to stick.

What I also began to notice was the ever emerging, unavoidable patterns of affinity and repulsion in the lives of my clients, colleagues, and friends. It was those patterns which became beacons to me, a kind of individual roadmap to the soul’s purpose, laid out so neatly and obviously that I wondered at its simplicity.

In our society, there are certain proscribed roles for people to which we have become so enculturated that we believe them to be the only viable, practical options for success. Far from encouraging individual excellence, authenticity and empowerment we as a culture channel the energies of countless souls into mainly meaningless days filled with work that matters little to them, consigning generation after generation to lives of quiet desperation. Yet at the same time, we tend to revere and celebrate those with the fortitude, tenacity and drive to follow their own drummer (when we’re not castigating them for being different). We laud many of them as geniuses, as though they are somehow profoundly different from the rest of us.

The actual fundamental difference that separates the sometimes feted but certainly successful few from the rest of society is an inner certainty, an irresistible sense of Purpose at the core of their being that guides their actions and supports their dreams. They are clear about why they’re here, and as it turns out, that makes all the difference. Those folks measure success by their own terms, because they know who they are and what they’re about. The rest of us measure life, success and happiness according to the opinions and values of others. And that is just warped and all the way twisted out of kilter with Nature, as I see it.

What I came to know is that our Soul, Authentic Self, Higher Self, whatever you want to call it, is ALWAYS, and I do mean always, seeking to express itself in the course of each and every person’s daily life. And express itself it will, intentionally and for the greatest good, or not.

Creating awareness of one’s unique Life Purpose as a powerful catalyst for lasting change becomes the order of the day. So, here we are.

Taking it out into the world and synchronicity

There's a whole passel of burrs under my proverbial saddle goading me to take my Life Purpose work out into the world on a much larger scale. This means that I have to get all sorts of new legal entities created and structures adopted to handle the upcoming projected growth.

This is what living my purpose means right now. I am becoming the businesswoman I knew I needed to be in order to get my work seen and heard and most of all experienced by lots of different people. What amused and heartens me is all the cool daily examples of synchronicity that are popping up to help me on my way. I am grateful.

I'm blown away with how things are going these days. Situations that once scared the living snot out of me are becoming easier to do in light of my purpose. My work is being well received. Gratifyingly, lives are being changed for the better by the people that are living them.

Empowerment is running rampant around here. There's a robust work ethic springing up from formerly barren sources. Cooperation abounds. It ain't perfect, but it's damned close.

I'd just like to point out that I'm not doing this alone. There is a web of support, a network of angels and allies looking out for me, helping me along at every turn. Somehow the bills still get paid while I finish this set of books. New clients are showing up in increasing numbers. Program directors and non profits are starting to take notice.

Coincidences and serendipity color my world these days. Synchronicity paints my life with vibrant experiences in direct proportion to how much I live my life Purposefully. This simple truth becomes more vivid for me at every compelling turn.

Lots and lots of other people are directly involved in my success. What a blessing this is. What a -relief- it is to not have to do this all alone.

I cannot see the whole path clearly laid out before me, but I know by the terrain that it is the right one. I am encouraged.

Thank you for reading this blog, and for caring about the quality of your own life. I urge you to let the people that surround you support you as you live ever more consciously according to your -own- unique Life Purpose. I invite you to call those you love forth into their own Purpose-filled lives. I know in my deepest, sweetest being that this is the way of healing, of empowerment, of balance and ultimately of peace.

My dreams are peopled with folks joyfully living on Purpose all over the world.

Join me.

Join US. All it takes is a bit of clarity and a whole lot of willingness to live an authentic life. I guarantee you won't be doing it alone.

It's a GREAT ride.

Hating money is not the answer

Okay, so for a long long time I detested dealing with money. Hated it. Thought it was the root of all evil, resented it, all that. And guess what? It didn't like -me-, either.

After many years of avoiding money and grudgingly admitting that I needed it, I was beaten down. I felt beaten up, too. I had struggled and toiled and expended much effort on not only the aquisition of that filthy lucre, but the resistance to it and all I thought it stood for. Exhausting, discouraging and deeply unrewarding times ensued. I was wiped out in all sorts of ways.

So sometimes shift happens. Books and seminars appeared in my path, pointing the way to self examination. I began to notice that my quality of life was really quite fine. I was and am blessed with a roof over my head, fresh food and a kitchen to cook it in, a car that runs and gas in the tank. I've got clothes for almost any occasion, and money to spend on things that I don't strictly need. I can indulge my desires. I gave over the management of my accounts to someone clever who loves to play with numbers, and delights in being of service. Professionals and talented amateurs restored order to the chaos my resistance to money had created.

In the place of that now cleared clutter was much space to fill. But fill it with what? More stuff, geegaws and souveniers of nothing much? Blech. Been there, done that. The idea of "now cleared" rang in my head. What else could I clear out? Hmm, my files are a mess. 15 minutes a day will fix that in the space of a month at most. And so it was. Closets and the garage are full of crap I simply don't use. Time to clear that space, too. Garage sales and craigslist help me winnow down the astounding amount of cool stuff and crappola that purging produced.

Now the space is clearer than it's been in oh, 30 years, maybe? I feel stronger, lighter, leaner, wiser. I stand a bit straighter. I have a sense of dominion over the 'stuff' of my life. It increases with each subsequent step I take to 'keep the channels clear', as I like to call it now. Nice.

What filled the space of chaos? My subsequent individual and collaborative creations: order and grace in my living and working spaces, clarity, kick ass systems to maintain help maintain order and balance, and a deliberate positive shift in my perspective about money. I started to tell myself that money is great stuff, that there's nothing inherently wrong with it. In fact, money is good. Really good. I started some new habits in regard to my thinking about money. I tell myself that I love money, and money loves me. That money is plentiful around me and for me. That it flows abundantly to me in the course of living my life. I get into the habit of living a simple, abundant life all the time. Money then becomes a non issue. Wow. This is MUCH easier. And more fun, too.

Folks notice the change in my energy and behavior and start to ask questions. My life coaching practice, so long a limpingly weak endeavour to which I devoted little time, starts to generate more income as I share my story with others. The space created by the purge and shifts and the resulting sense of expansive possibility lead me to the keyboard and bigger things have been emerging. A workbook journal, a book, then two, clamber to make themselves known. The work I've created catches the imagination of talented, gifted and forward thinking people and their organizations. Now seminars, workshops and keynote speeches are on the agenda. A buzz is building.

All because shift happens. When I shifted my regard for money, it made me attractive to money. Like everthing else energetic, it doesn't go where there is no entrance. I opened myself up to the possibility that money itself is not evil. Through that shifted portal money pours.

Get your shift together. If you need help, I'm here.

Ciao, I'm off to the spa after lunch for a nice soak and sauna and maybe a massage followed by dinner at a nearby cafe with my best friend.

Life is good. I love money.